Middle age

Middle age is typically the phase of life in which people develop their careers. They have finished their studies and are joining the work force. Their qualities and talents become apparent, their experience increases and consequently a career develops. With autistic people this is not the way things usually develop. They are often single and in search of a partner. Sometimes they have already given up seeking a partner. The ones with a partner will often notice that tensions within their relationship are increasing.

During this period, because of the still hesitant and unknown diagnostics of adults with autism, perhaps their autism is still undiscovered. It is often a combination of men with autism and women with an empathetic nature.

Women’s middle age also means that women enter the change of life with all the disadvantages of possible mood swings.

Their increasing assertiveness is an advantage. For years, women have adjusted themselves to their husbands and asked their children to adapt to their father. Reaching middle age, women sometimes draw the line. They do not wish to sacrifice themselves any more and want their husbands to change and adapt to their desires.

Especially in the case of a male partner with autism, this process is troublesome.

Demanding so much change and adaptation is shocking for the man, and the blame over the past years is very painful. For the woman it is shocking to experience that the adjustment of the past years has not been a sacrifice, but a necessity, and that not all can be changed. It takes a lot of effort from both partners to do the relationship justice and continue it with more knowledge and experience.

The loneliness of people with autism without partners increases during this period. The road to old age can get rough. Expectations are readjusted and there is mourning over lost illusions during this period. During midlife crisis, people look back, but for someone with autism this crisis usually occurs later.

Middle age
Autism and course of life
Autism Books
Autism Guide: The Essential Guide To Autism
Autism Checklist